


It's Beginning to Get to Me

by TVandTalkies



Series: The Anatomy of Meredith Grey [3]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/F, F/M, Female Friendship, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 23:39:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13469031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TVandTalkies/pseuds/TVandTalkies
Summary: Meredith has finally told Alex how she feels. What happens now?





	1. The Morning After

Meredith woke to the sound of soft snoring next to her. She rolled over and was momentarily surprised to see Alex’s face mushed into the pillow beside her. Then she remembered the night before and smiled. She felt wonderful. Better than she had in months. She had told Alex about her feelings and now she was waking up pleasantly sore and just a little tired. Tired but content.

She stroked his hair and moved her mouth close to his ear. “Alex,” she whispered.

He groaned, pushing his face further into the pillow.

“Alex,” she whispered again. “Time to get up.”

Alex slowly opened his eyes, the fogginess of sleep slow to leave them. “Mer?” He looked around the room, at the sun just starting to peak in through the windows. He sat up in the bed and ran his hands through his sleep tussled hair. “What time is it?” he yawned.

Meredith leaned over his should to look at the clock on her bedside table. “It’s a little after six. We’ve got some time before the kids start moving around.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him and leaned in for a kiss.

She tried not to feel hurt when Alex pulled back. “Wait, Mer,” he said. She shifted in the bed, pulling the flimsy sheet up to her chest, eyes searching his.

“What’s wrong,” she asked.

Alex sighed, “Nothing. Everything. I don’t know,” was his reply. He looked her in the eye, gently reached to take her hand and hold it in his. “Don’t you think we’re moving a little fast?

Meredith blinked. That was not what she had been expecting. “Fast?”

“Yeah, fast. I mean last night you tell me you are going to start dating again. Then you tell me that you love me. Then we have sex. Which was freaking great by the way.”

Meredith smirked.

“And now I’m waking up in your bed talking about the kids being up in a bit while you sit there looking at me like,” he paused.

“Like what?” Meredith tilted her head.

Alex closed his eyes and rested his hand on the bridge of his nose. He seemed to be trying to figure something out in his head. “Like,” he started. “I don’t know. Like I’m everything. Well, maybe not me exactly, but like we’re,” he gestured between the two of them, “everything. I can’t think when you look at me like that. I can’t breathe. I need to breathe, Mer. Need to think.”

Meredith let go of the hand still holding hers, breaking the connection between them. “You need to think about us?”

“Yeah,” he said, hand reaching for hers again but stopping just before he touched her. “Is that ok?” his eyebrows knit together in concern. 

Meredith smiled gently, reached out to take his hand once again and bring it to her lips. She gently kissed the palm. “Of course it’s ok,” she said as she watched the tension drain from his body. “I realize that I may have gotten a little ahead of you. Maybe even a few laps ahead of you at this point. You deserve some time to figure out things on your end.”

Alex turned his palm to gently cup her cheek and rest his forehead against hers. “Thanks, Mer,” he breathed. 

Meredith pulled back and grinned at him, sliding out of the bed, body fully on display. Alex’s eyes widened, mouth slightly agape. It had been dark last night as they tore each other’s clothes off in a frenzy. This was his first opportunity to really drink in how beautiful she was. “Alex?” she said.

He swallowed shakily, cleared his throat, “Yeah?”

She pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms, leaned over the bed and kissed him fiercely. They were both a bit breathless when she pulled back. “Try to catch up.” She winked at him and started getting ready for the day ahead.


	2. Bananas, Back Rubs, and Bowel Resections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith works on a new project. Maggie and Amelia show up.

To say that Meredith Grey loved surgery was maybe the understatement of the century. Meredith often found herself consumed by her desire to delve further into the mystery that was the human body. She’d spend hours in the skills lab practicing stitches, learning new techniques, sharing ideas with the residents. She’d never tell the residents this but, as much as they drove her crazy, she also found their exuberance and creativity inspiring. If she was the best, then she wanted them to be better than her. Medicine stopped growing when physicians got too territorial. That’s how she found herself in the skills lab, mostly in the dark save a workstation lamp, after a long surgery. 

Something a resident said wouldn’t quite leave her brain. In the middle of a bowel resection the young doctor said that they might as well replace the patient’s entire bowel with PVC pipe with the way the flesh was deteriorating. Of course, that was impossible, PVC pipe would never work. The bowel wasn’t a solid fixture in the body. It flexed, it shrank, and it expanded. The idea was intriguing though. What if the bowel didn’t need to be fully resected? What if it was possible to graft something or implant something onto healthy tissue that was sturdy enough to hold up while the body tried to repair itself? The possibilities rolled around in her mind. 

She’d been hunched over a work bench for hours at this point scribbling away in her ratty notebook. Little notes and sketches littering the page. Her hand was beginning to cramp and her neck was starting to ache some. 

“Hey!” Maggie popped her head in the door. “I thought I might find you in here,” she said flicking the lights on in the room. 

The sudden glare of the fluorescent lights made Meredith squint at her sister. “Did you need something?

Maggie laughed, “Nope. Just wanted to see what you were up to,” and she bounded over to the work station. Maggie looked down at the notebook, leaned over and turned it towards herself flicking through a few pages, “What are you up to?”

Meredith sighed, “I’m reinventing the bowel apparently.”

Maggie nodded her head and pulled a juice box out of her white coat pocket. She slipped the straw into the box and gestured to Meredith, “Ok. Continue. You’re reinventing the bowel. Why does the bowel need to be reinvented?”

Meredith put her pencil down and stretched her hand out above her head. “It doesn’t need to be reinvented for patients that are well, but patients that need bowel resections or full bowel transplants often have a hard time. I was thinking there might be a way to graft something onto healthy tissue to replace a necrotic part of the bowel or replace a section of the bowel entirely with a sturdy organic material so that the bowel could begin to sort of heal itself. I want to just help it along a little.”

Maggie nodded her head, “Well, you’d need something that could replicate a sphincter unless the patient is ok with a colostomy bag.”

“Right,” says Meredith. 

“And it can’t be thin or the stomach enzymes that end up in the bowel would eat through it. 

Meredith nods, “Of course.”

Maggie puts her now empty juice box down, “In that case,” she pauses. “I’ve got nothing.”

Meredith laughs and lays her head on the workstation. “Ugh. Me too. I may call Christina in the morning to bat around some ideas. I think my brain is fried from surgery and my back is so sore that I may end up with a hunch.”

Maggie brightened, “That I can help with!” She got up, moved behind Meredith and started rubbing her shoulders.

Meredith moaned in pleasure. “Oh God, Maggie. If you stop whatever magic you are working on my back right now I may have to kill you.”

Maggie chuckled, “Glad I can help.”

Meredith sighed and leaned back into the comforting touch of her sister’s hands. It felt good to be cared for. She closed her eyes and let Maggie continue to work the knots out of her shoulders and back. 

“Mer?” Amelia came in. “What’s,” she circled her hands towards Maggie and Meredith, “all of this?”

“Meredith was working in here and needed a little help relieving some stress,” Maggie chirped. Meredith just hummed in acknowledgement. 

Amelia walked over and propped herself on the table. “No bananas tonight?

Meredith opened one eye and arched an eyebrow. “No. No bananas tonight. I may not need to spend so much time with fruit in the near future.”

Maggie wrinkled her brow in confusion, “I think I may be missing something here.”

Amelia clapped her on the shoulder, “I’ll fill you in later, kiddo.”

Maggie rolled her eyes, “You know I hate it when you call me kiddo, right?”

Amelia let her hand fall and smirked, “Yeah. That’s basically why I do it, kiddo.”

Meredith chuckled, “Play nice you two. Don’t make me treat you like my kids. I’ve got mom mode turned off at the moment, but I’ll turn it back on if it looks like you two are going to ruin this good thing I’ve got going.” She shifted slightly under Maggie’s hands closing her eyes again. “I need this.”

Amelia rotated her shoulders in sympathy, “I hear you. I just got done clipping a massive aneurism. Now that the adrenaline has worn off I need a way to unwind. Mer, you should have seen this beauty. It was great. We were in this woman’s brain, just to remove a standard tumor and suddenly she starts bleeding out. I had to go in blind to find the bleed because the scope couldn’t catch where the blood was coming from.”

“Mmhmm,” replied Meredith.

“Hey!” Amelia cried in mock outrage. “I’m trying to share my passion with you.”

“Amelia,” Meredith opened her eyes. “This is quiet time. Can you handle that?”

Amelia huffed, “Maybe if I had something to do.” She crossed her arms.

“Grab a chair,” Meredith said. “Maggie, scoot back a little.”

They rearranged themselves until Amelia could sit in front of Meredith comfortably. Meredith began to kneed her shoulders. “Oh my God that feels sinfully good.”

“Amelia?”

“Yes, Meredith?”

“Be quiet and just enjoy the back rub.”

They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other’s company and letting the stress from the day leave their bodies.

About twenty minutes later Alex strolled into the skills lab, head buried in a reference book, “Hey, Mer do you have time to,” He stopped when he saw the women, closed the book. “I was going to ask if you have time to talk, but now I just want to know what’s going on here.”

“We’re relaxing. No men!” Amelia replied.

“Hey,” Maggie chided. “We never said no men. Plus, I like Alex. He’s one of us. If he wants to join in on the backrub train he totally can.”

“It’s better when it’s just girls. Guys make everything too complicated,” said Amelia.

“Amen to that,” responded Maggie. Meredith chuckled. “Maybe I should join a convent. Not many guys at a convent,” Maggie quipped.

“No sex in a convent either,” said Amelia. “I like sex too much to become a nun.”

“You do know I’m here, right?” interrupted Alex. 

Meredith gestured between her sisters, “You did ask what was going on.”

Alex chuckled, “Well, I guess that’s true. Mer, come and find me whenever you all are done with your Ya-Ya pow-wow or whatever?”

Meredith nodded. 

“You don’t have to go!” said Maggie. “My hands are sore. I could use a break. You can come and do Meredith for a while,” she said, gesturing towards her seat.

Alex opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. Meredith looked at him quizzically. Alex appeared to be blushing just a bit. 

Maggie cocked her head to the side in confusion, “Or not, I guess.”

“I’m… I’m just going to go,” mumbled Alex. He started to leave the room but stopped in the entryway. “Meredith, later ok? We need to talk.”

Meredith smiled, “Did you catch up?”

Alex nodded, “I think so. You’re not an easy person to catch though.”

Meredith’s laugh rang out, “I never said I was, Karev. Go on, I’ll find you later.”

Alex left the room and it was quiet again until Amelia spoke. “What was that about?”

“Bananas,” said Meredith. 

Amelia turned to look at her and Maggie leaned on the edge of the table. “Someone is really going to have to explain what this whole bananas thing is about.”

“Shhhh,” said Amelia. “Bananas?”

Meredith nodded.

“Well, I think you broke him,” laughed Amelia. "He couldn’t wait to get out of here!”

“How did Meredith break Alex?” questioned Maggie. “He looked fine to me.”

“She broke him with her vagina!” exclaimed Amelia grinning the whole time.

Meredith smacked her on the arm. “Amelia. Keep it down. I don’t need someone walking in and hearing you talk about how I’m going around breaking people with my vagina.”

Maggie started bouncing up and down, “Oh my God, Mer! You and Karev? That’s so great! I’m so excited!”

“Slow down, Maggie,” began Meredith. “We’re not anything official yet. We just had sex.”

“But you had sex? Steamy, sweaty, jaw dropping, eye popping, orgasm inducing sex?” said Amelia.

“Yes to all of the above,” nodded Meredith. “A couple of times on that last one,” she laughed. “But he needs time.”

“Time?” echoed Maggie. “Time for what?”

“He needs to think things over. I kind of laid it all out on him last night.”

“Yeah you did,” quipped Amelia.

Meredith rolled her eyes, “Anyway… I told him how I feel, we had sex, and this morning he said he wanted to think. That maybe we were moving too fast.”

“What a jerk,” said Maggie. 

Meredith shook her head, “It’s really not like that, Maggie. I get it. He and I come with baggage. He’s got Jo. I’ve got Derek. Plus, the kids. We already live together. It’s,” she paused. “It’s complex. I can give him a little room to think.”

“It sounded like he was done thinking to me,” said Amelia. “Why are you not rushing after him?”

Meredith shrugged, “Because I don’t feel like I need to I guess.”

Maggie and Amelia both stared at her willing her to continue. Meredith sighed, “I’m not worried about Alex. I’ve never been worried about how he would feel because I already know that he loves me. He loves the kids. This is just adding something extra to that love. Something he didn’t realize he was missing. He’s always been a little slow where these things are concerned. But he’s steady and reliable. I want that. I want to revel in that. I don’t want him to be shaky when we start this thing, whatever it is because that’s not him. That’s not us. He can’t be behind me in this.”

Maggie nodded, “Thus the catching up.”

“Exactly.”

“Well,” Amelia stands. “I think we’ve had enough sisterly bonding for one night.” She takes Maggie’s arm in hers, “Come on, kiddo. Let’s go to the cafeteria for some food and I’ll explain the bananas.”

“Finally!” Maggie throws her unoccupied arm up in the air. 

They get to the door and Amelia pauses and looks over her shoulder, “Meredith?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t make him wait. Go get him.”

Meredith nods, “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to know why Amelia and Meredith are talking about bananas, please read chapter 2 of my previous ficlet "Hobbies." It's not gross, I swear.


	3. Nobody Knows Where You Might End Up (Nobody Knows)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Meredith need to talk. Things finally come to a head.

Meredith stood outside the on-call room. She was nervous. Alex was on the other side of that door waiting to talk and if things didn’t go well… she didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to think about her life without Alex fully in it. He was already entrenched into her day-to-day. He was her person and she was his. She wanted more. She wanted him to be hers and she wanted to be his so badly that her palms were sweating. Meredith shook her head to help clear her mind. “Get it together, Grey,” she mumbled to herself.

She knocked on the door.

A voice from the other side called out, “DeLuca, I swear to God if Amber Johnson is puking up blood again I’m going to kill you.” The door swung open revealing a rumpled and tired looking Alex Karev. His eyes widened just a little. “You’re not DeLuca,” he said leaning against the door frame.

Meredith smiled, eyes crinkling just around the edges. “I hope you like me just a little more than DeLuca at this point,” she laughed. 

Alex rolled his eyes. “I like just about anyone better than DeLuca today.”

“So,” Meredith began.

“So,” Alex said back.

“You wanted to talk?”

Alex nodded, “I did. I do.” He sighed and pushed his hands into his back pocket. “Yeah,” he paused. “We need to talk.” He moved to the side and gestured to the inside of the on-call room. “Come on in. This could take a while.” His cheerful smile at seeing her was gone now. 

Meredith’s stomach lurched. Had she misread things between them? Was Alex about to break her heart? She hoped not. Still, doubt clawed at her insides as she moved past Alex into the room and he shut the door behind her. 

The on-call room was in a slight state of disarray. Alex had already been there for a while it seemed. There was a book on a table, a to-go plate from the cafeteria, and the bed was rumpled. She turned to face Alex, drinking him in. 

He was pacing a little. As much as such a small space would allow. He looked as nervous as she felt. “Alex?” she asked, nervousness lacing her voice.

“Just,” he stopped pacing. “Just give me a minute,” he said. “I have something I need to say and I need you to hear it.”

Meredith sighed, defeated. “Alex,” she said. “Whatever it is, it’s ok. I get it. I moved too fast. You weren’t ready for this. I’m sorry for rushing you.”

Alex looked at her, scanned her face. “That’s not what I was going to say. You think I want out of this thing?” He crossed his arms. “You think I’m that guy, Mer?”

Meredith took a step back. “Of course not. I’m just trying to give you space. You asked for room to breathe, a chance to catch up. I’m trying to give you that.”

Alex rubbed his head sending off waves of frustration. “Sure you are, Mer. You think I’m going to bolt, so you’re trying to end this before it even begins. That’s just typical.”

“This isn’t about me,” Meredith asserted.

“Isn’t it?” Alex took a step towards her. He reached for her waist, pulled her close. “God, I hope it isn’t,” he breathed. Then his mouth was on hers. Impatient. Demanding. There was just a hint of desperation in the way he groaned into their kiss. He pulled back just a little and Meredith found herself following him, leaning into his sturdy frame.

She leaned in further, buried her face into the crook of his neck, and burst into laughter. “Why are you laughing?” he asked incredulously. 

Meredith chuckled, “We REALLY need to work on our communication skills.” She rubbed her head against his chest and breathed him in. She felt settled and safe in his arms. She leaned back to see him smiling down at her. 

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey.”

She leaned up and gave him a light, lingering kiss. There wasn’t heat behind this kiss. There was something deeper, but somehow easier. This kiss felt like a promise of thousands of kisses yet to come. Meredith sighed as the kiss ended. “What did you want to tell me before I let my dark and twisty side take over?”

Alex took a step back, leaving her by the door to sit on the bed. He ran his hands along the legs of his scrubs in what she knew was a frustrated attempt to keep it together. “Ok,” he looked up. “I’m in this.”

Meredith’s heart soared. “You’re in this?”

“Yeah, Mer,” he gestured between them. “I’m in this. When you left this morning I was thinking about how much I love you. You’re my person, Mer,” he said, eyes searching hers. “I love the kids. Hell, I even love Maggie and Amelia. I’m pretty sure Amelia should be committed somewhere, but she’s family. We take care of family. I want this family.”

“Alex,” Meredith interrupted. “You already had that family. You’re not going to lose it.”

Alex stopped her. “Be quiet, please, Meredith. Let me say this.” He took a steadying breath. “You’re right. I know I’m not going to lose the family we built. That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that this is something bigger than all of that and I want it. I want you, Meredith.”

“You want me,” Meredith smiled taking a step towards him. 

Alex put his hand up stopping her. “Just,” he stammered. “Just stay over there for a minute. I need to finish this or I may not ever say it the right way again.”

Meredith paused, “Ok. Continue.” She leaned back against the door. 

Alex got up off the bed and started pacing again. Meredith smiled. He crossed the room a few times and stopped. “I wasn’t expecting this,” he began. “I didn’t think it was possible after Jo, you know.” He gestured towards her, “Of course you know because of Derek, but still. It, this, us… It caught me by surprise.” He scowled. “You know I hate surprises, Mer.”

Meredith laughed, “Sorry to inconvenience you.”

“That’s just it. You and me. We’re a HUGE inconvenience. This is going to be messy.”

“Probably,” agreed Meredith.

“We’re probably going to bicker all the time.”

“We do that already,” she nodded.

“You might kill me out of frustration.”

“Probably not, but if I did I would have Amelia there to help hide the body,” she chuckled.

“Not Maggie?”

Meredith shrugged, “Too much emotional trauma. I like that’s she’ shiny.”

Alex smiled, “Me too.” He started pacing again. “Like I said, this is going to be messy.”

“Undoubtedly,” Meredith locked the door.

“I’m going to lay out a few rules. Let me know if you disagree with any of them.”

“Okay,” she said and took off her white coat laying it on the table.

“First, you and I,” he pointed at her and then at himself. “This is it.”

She nodded, “Ok.”

He continued. “I’m serious, Mer. You’re it for me. If you don’t want to grow old together and wipe soup off of my chin when I turn eighty, you better get out now.”

Meredith took her stethoscope off from around her neck and laid it on the table. “I can agree to that. I probably won’t remember you when you’re eighty anyway so I think those roles may be reversed,” she chuckled.

Alex scoffed, “Whatever. I just need you to know how much you mean to me. You’re like this enormous light in my life. I mean, you’re a little dark around the edges, but being near you feels good. It feels warm,” he paused in thought. “It’s like,” he started. “This is going to sound silly, but it’s like you’re the sun and I’m the earth.”

Meredith paused in the middle of taking her shoes off. “I’m the sun?” Her heart skipped a beat.

Alex shrugged. “Yeah, for me you are. You give me life when you’re around and my world is just a little greyer when you aren’t. At some point my life started revolving around yours and I can’t break away. At this point I don’t want to.”

Alex started pacing again, “Which brings me to my second rule. We’re getting married.”

“What?!” Meredith’s head snapped up from concentrating on the tie to her scrub bottoms. 

Alex pointed at her. “I mean it, Mer. You and I are going to get married. Not today, not this year, but at some point we are going to do this the right way. And I want to adopt the kids.”

Meredith’s head was reeling. “You want to adopt the kids?” she mumbled to herself.

“Yes, Mer. They can still call me Uncle Alex if you want but I want to be their dad on paper. I want to take care of them the same way I want to take care of you.”

Meredith felt herself getting a little teary and forced herself hold them back. She cleared her throat, “I can live with that.”

“Good,” he said. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “I’m forgetting something.”

“Mmmhmmm,” hummed Meredith as she let her scrub bottoms drop to the floor and walked towards Alex. He wasn’t looking at her when she stepped in front of him. “Alex?”

He kept his eyes closed, “Yeah, Mer?”

She took his face in his hands and gently angled it towards her. Made him really look at her. “I agree to your rules.”

“You do?” he asked lip trembling.

Meredith laughed, kissed his forehead. “Yes. I agree to let you drive me crazy.” 

She kissed his left cheek. “I agree not to run.” 

She kissed his right cheek. “I agree to let you adopt the kids.

She kissed him on the lips lightly, delicately. “I agree to marry you someday.”

He leaned his forehead against hers, a deep breath shuddering out, “you do?”

Meredith laughed and leaned back, taking his hands in hers and leading him towards the bed. “I really, really do,” she chuckled as she pushed him onto the mattress. 

Alex looked at her, “Mer,” he said. “When exactly did you take your pants off?”

Meredith threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, Alex,” she said shaking her head while she lifter her shirt up over her head. “Try and catch up.”

Alex reached out and took her by the waist, pulled her close to him, looked up into her eyes, “I’ll try.”

Meredith leaned down, lips centimeters from his, “That’s all I’m asking.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this fic and want to see what I'm up to next, feel free to subscribe or follow me on Tumblr @TvandTalkies.


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